Very soon a mother will leave her children. A wife, daughter and sister will be lost. I have tried for months to make sense of this, to answer on my own the only question I have, why? In the end I am left with the same resolution that I rejected in the beginning, there is no answer. It just is.
The time that I got to spend as a close friend to this remarkable person was short, but I am so grateful for it. Throughout her illness she never gave up, endured every pain that gave her the only thing she wanted, time. She apologized, for the hurt that her leaving would cause and used all of her remaining energy to take care of her family. I have never known a stronger, braver, more loving person and it is likely that I never will.
My birthday is this week. I get to be 33. I am able to fix my family dinner tonight, help my daughter with her homework, and kiss three babies before they go to sleep. Then I will get to sit in the quiet evening with the man I love and talk about our day and make plans for tomorrow. These are not small things, they mean everything to me.
I am going to tuck my friend and her family into my heart. Everyday that I am given here on this earth I am going to try to be a tenth of the person that my friend is. And when it is time for me to take my last breath I will rest easier knowing that I will see her again.